Family Theories and Dynamics

This week we discussed a few different interesting topics. At the beginning of the week, we talked more about the science behind families and the theories that attempt to explain the way family relationships work. I found this very interesting because in each theory, I was able to see how it connect in my family or other families I have observed. The first theory we discussed was the family systems theory. This theory suggest that although the family is a larger unit, each person plays a smaller role within the greater unit. Along with this, we also learned that members of the family can be a part of subunits. I definitely can see this theory work in my own family. There are seven kids in my family and growing up I saw how each of us played a part in the higher function of our family. One of my brothers was often the instigator, one of my other brothers was frequently a peace maker, my sister was usually one to make us all laugh, etc. I realized that all these roles we fell into contributed to my family and the way we functioned as a whole unit.

Although all of the family theories are important, I wanted to just discuss the two that stuck out to me the most. The other theory that was very easily applicable for me was the symbolic interaction theory. This theory suggests that all behavior is symbolic. This is essentially stating that any behavior we engage in has a purpose and meaning. This behavior communicates a general feeling or idea that we are trying to communicate. Furthermore, the feelings and tone generated from these actions cause a reaction and a response from others. This is very easy to see in any situation. One example used in class was that often in families with parents that fight frequently,  one or more of the children will act up when conflict arises. This original action is committed to distract the parents and generate a feeling of frustration towards the child so that the conflict between parents is avoided. The reaction from the parents is a direct response of the purpose behind the child’s misbehavior. The meaning and purpose behind the original action was to distract the parents from fighting or engaging in an argument and because of the child’s behavior and the feelings their actions communicate, the response shows a connection from the original purpose of the child’s actions. This theory can be applied to almost any situation or set of behaviors. Additionally, we discussed how someone’s reaction can be categorized as negative or positive feedback. We learned that negative feedback corrects behavior while positive feedback reinforces behavior. Knowing this can help us to understand why someone reacts to a situation and what they are expecting you to do or say in response. Essentially it comes down to the fact that people act certain ways to communicate.

Later in the week, we talked more specifically about family dynamics. One thing I found really interesting was family rules. We discussed how often times these family rules are unspoken, but all members of the family are aware that these rules exist. For example, the first thing that came to my mind was that in my family, we have assigned seats at the dinner table. I don’t remember a day when these seats were assigned and I don’t even really remember ever discussing it either. However, growing up, all seven kids knew where their seat was when we sat down for a meal. It’s funny, because to this day we still tend to sit in those seats without even thinking or talking about it. Even right before I wrote this blog post, I had a meal with my family and I still sat in the seat that I sat in as a child. Most of my siblings have spouses and children and we can’t all fit at the same table that we used to eat at as kids. However, I still feel a little weird when we have to add another table at family dinners and my siblings aren’t sitting where their seat was. I never realized how this was an unspoken rule and something that I got so accustomed to. Additionally, one thing my professor pointed out was that when you get married, you have to be aware that your spouse will have grown up with different family traditions and unspoken rules. This is important to keep in mind because you might expect something that your spouse was not raised with. I think it is vital to keep your eyes open to these differences. Everyone grows up in a different family dynamic and learning about these theories and dynamic attributes has really helped me to understand more about the family unit as a whole.

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